So many ways to get food!

Hey Yukon,

I would like to know why humans are so stingy about my food. For instance, my humans eat three FULL meals every day, plus snacks all day long. What gives? I only get breakfast and dinner, and even those are measly portions. Look at my empty bowl. It's like that all day long, except for one minute. Plus, I exercise way more than my humans by chasing squirrels and all (and even bunnies in my sleep!), so that makes the unfairness even worse. If I’m such a “good girl” ( which I am, BTW), why not reward me more often with food? Sheesh, humans are weird. I love mine, but they need to learn a thing or two about fairness. Any advice for how I can make them get it?

Your friend,
Tala

---

Hey Tala,

It's great to hear from you. As shown in the picture below of us from long ago, you've grown a lot despite your humans being so stingy. Kudos to you.  

I'm afraid I can't answer your question about why humans are so stingy with food. Mine are the same way. The only thing I can say is what I always say:  they're only human. Our job is to take care of them, even if they aren't giving us enough food. Instead of explaining the confusing ways of our human friends, I'll give you some suggestions on how to supplement the scant food they provide, so that you don't faint from malnourishment. I'll save the best for last. 

Sometimes getting more food is easy. For example, if your parents have a fruit tree, you can have some fruit that falls off the tree. I even figured out how to take fruit right off the tree, so I help myself to an apple or three after dinner every night. When my human wonders where all the apples are, I remind him about how terrible the squirrels are in the neighborhood. 

You can also work your humans, or any humans, for treats. See my thoughts on sure-fire tricks to get treats from humans. Remember that when it comes to treats, there's no such thing as "last one."

Another way to supplement your meager rations is to do a lot of work in the kitchen. This is especially effective in the holiday season. I've written ideas on cleaning dishes and on helping your humans while they're cooking. The latter is especially good if you can train your humans. I have my momma human trained to always give me the cheese rinds, and dad knows to always give me a piece of the meat that he is cutting. But even if your humans are untrainable, humans are just clumsy with food, so you can usually find some tasty morsels where they have bene working in the kitchen. 

Finally, while you are training your human to give you treats, as explained in sure-fire tricks, pay attention to what the humans think the rules are. For example, when my humans were in the kitchen with me, they said I was not supposed to take food off the counter. I understood, because I'm a smart dog: I am not supposed to take food off the counter when my humans are in the kitchen. So I wait until after they are out of the kitchen, and then help myself. While following the rules I've had a lot of yummy, dog-sustaining snacks:  an entire gingerbread house (with icing), a dozen bagels, an apple pie, etc. You get the idea. 

So hang in there, Tala. I'm sure you'll be able to find enough food to overcome your human's misunderstanding of what your meals should be.  

Your friend,
Yukon

p.s. This is critically important subject material, so if any readers have suggestions for Tala and me for how to get more food from humans, or any other questions, email me at HeyYukon@sfbags.com.